The Ranting Jahaji

A big percentage of my audience asked me to write a piece about facing rough weather at sea. This one is for you guys - hope all three of you enjoy it! Coming Soon: Rain  The Bay of Biscay - the playground where our boys Varun, Poseidon, Neptune and Njord meet to play splash.  Every jahaji worth his salt (so not the NCV guys, obviously 😜) dreads a passage through the Bay, and for good reason. Of course, given my beautiful run with lady luck, I was destined to cross it on my very first voyage. All I knew then is that yes, ships roll and pitch a little, but tough sailors do not let it affect them.  Rolling? Pitching? If you aren't familiar with the terms, let me put it very simply. Rolling is when a ship threatens to swing on its side and turn turtle. Except that a microsecond before you think you are about to taste salt water, the ship decides not yet, and reverses back upright. But ek baar jo commitment kar di... So she doesn't stop at upright, and thre...

Remember when a pair of  Ray-Bans was the epitome of "cool"? Back in the early 90s, when I was an 8 year old kid, my family had moved to a new place. New home, new school, new friends, the works. Very first week of third grade, I saw a man wearing those green aviators that are still trendy, but were the in thing back then. It was a few years after Tom Cruise gave us flying lessons in  Top Gun, but who could forget those trendy sun glasses! First impressions always last, and my first impression of the man was that he was nothing short of a celebrity. I saw him get off a scooter (a red Kinetic Honda, also very trendy back then), grab his bag and make his way to the school building. No sooner had he taken a few steps, he was surrounded by kids. Funny kids, really - they were all greeting him with folded hands, one leg in front of the other, in a kind of a bow. I remember wondering who the man was, and why he had a fan following among the kids. Turns out, he was the...

This one is about telephones on ships, and why I hate them. Hate them with all my heart. Not just hate - detest them, more like. I wanted to curse and use foul language, but my editor made me watch my language, so let's just say I have a strong dislike for telephones. Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-social. I just hate telephones when I am at sea. Not my beautiful little darling smartphone, of course - that one is my companion, my partner - maybe a little bit closer to my heart than my editor even! My feelings are restricted to the work phones. And there are so many of them on a ship, it feels like you are being stalked. They are like those cute little pugs in the Vodafone commercials, just not as cute. Not cute at all. Ugly monstrosities, in fact. Why do I hate them, you ask? Fair warning - I am going to rant. Still interested? Hmm..read on then! 1. The volume. On a ship, you can't hide from a ringing telephone. Sitting on the shit pot, focused on the job at han...