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That Dude with Two Stripes

Teen Saab. 

I always liked the rank; until, of course, I got bored of it and wanted a promotion. And then I missed being third engineer again. See why we need to talk about this?


Right from the good old days when I was a cadet, I have thought that the third engineer is the coolest guy on a merchant ship. Everyone who has ever sailed will agree - those guys with the two purple-lined stripes on their shoulders have it all figured out and going for them. Those who have not had the good fortune to be at sea, well, too bad for you; go get a life, landlubber!

Let's remind ourselves of the Chief Engineer first. In the good old days, he was a legend. Imagine a burly, hairy man with forearms the size of tree trunks. Let's give him a generous beard as well, and a strong voice - think Amrish Puri. While we are at it, let's think Amrish Puri casually tossing bird seed around, saying  "Aao" with a whole lot of conviction. Get the idea? If I were a bird, I would have gone to him even if I knew he was out to poison me.

So the Chief Engineer is the one everyone else onboard reports to regarding anything having two or more parts. He is the expert, the man who has seen it all. He solves problems without having to know what the problem is. There have been a few who could loosen rusted nuts just by glaring at them. This man is half legend, half awesome, and then some.

Now that we have established who the Chief is, you should know who his favorite engineer is - the Second Engineer? Not even close! It has to be the dude - teen saab! The Second Engineer is the one everyone loves to hate, surely cannot be the boss's favorite! I will leave 2nd Saab for another time, this one is about the third engineer.

So what is so cool about being the third engineer? To know that, you need to know what the single most annoying part of any engineer's watch is. The heat? Meh! What's life without a little sweat trickling down your back and into your butt-crack. The noise? Nope! That's actually music! Irrespective of rank, nothing irritates an engineer more than that telephone call you get in the middle of your watch. Third is responsible for the Engine Room watch twice a day - from Noon to 6 PM, and then again from midnight to 6 AM. Sounds crazy eh? It is bliss, actually. People aren't the most active after a hearty lunch, so calls are rare. Again, most people like to get some sleep between midnight and dawn, so no one really misses the engine room much. The third engineer is left to his own means, free to plan his work and do it (or not do it 😉😉) at his own convenient pace. It is a blessing to have that luxury - and not just on a ship. No matter what your occupation is, it would be so much better if no one disturbed you, no?

Another plus of being teen saab is that your opinion matters. Cadets, obviously, cannot tell a screw from a bolt, so their opinion is never asked. When it is offered unsolicited, it is laughed at - usually for good reason. Cadets are the Jon Snows of the engine room: they work hardest, get nothing in return, and most importantly, they know nothing. Then comes the fourth engineer, whose opinion is indeed asked, but not heard. Don't forget, engineering discussions between engineers happen when something has already gone wrong and needs to be corrected. Shit has already hit the fan. It has to be cleaned up, of course, but the priority is to stop the shit flying. And the fan. The fourth engineer does come up with brilliant ideas at times, but unfortunately does not always have the right experience. He probably hasn't seen shit hit that particular fan before, and can only hazard an educated guess. He might be right, but only the Cadet is listening to him!

The second engineer has the experience and the expertise to make the right decision. As he should. And therein lies the problem. Everyone expects the second engineer to step in and solve an issue, so even if the guy works half a miracle, it is hardly a surprise- it is his job, after all! Not so for teen saab. He is not expected to solve problems that have the wiser people stumped. So when he does, he is crowned King immediately. The Cadet follows him around everywhere. The Second wants to give him a day off. The Chief wants to recommend him for a promotion. The Captain wants to adopt him. Who wouldn't want to be that guy!

It is the best rank to be in. Young enough to go looking for challenges, mature enough to know how to handle them. Young enough to still "hang out" with the gang, mature enough to actively contribute to to the management. Young enough to laugh at the Fourth Engineer's mistakes, mature enough to mentor him to do better. Young enough to steal tools from the deck store and get away with it, mature enough to know to return them as well. 

Having worked under some wonderful dudes with two stripes, I hope I did justice to the stripes too! 



Comments

  1. Tanya22 September 2020 at 14:18

    I am sure u were the notorious kind in your prime time 😆😆

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Friendly Neighbourhood Seaman22 September 2020 at 14:53

    Why the past tense? My prime is yet to come... :D

    ReplyDelete

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